People Bite

When I was a little girl I was terrified of large dogs after catching a horrific glimpse of the movie Kujo. From that point on when I heard the vigorous bark of a large dog, I'd freeze in terror. I would clutch my mom's hand tightly and close my eyes as we'd walk past a large dog for fear that we'd be attacked. I wanted nothing to do with dogs, even though I'd never been bitten.

It took years of patient reassurance from my mother for me to overcome my fear of dogs. I remember her saying, "Dogs are like people, some are very friendly and others are not so nice. You just have to be cautious but give them a chance. Not every dog bites. " Eventually, after some expiriences with some wonderful dogs, I got past my fear.

Over the last several years I've noticed a change in myself when it comes to how I interact with people. I find myself scared, withdrawn, and less likely to make eye contact. I hold my breath and sometimes even look away when people approach me. It was just this week as I was sitting on my deck enjoying a cup of coffee, that I thought about how much I've changed, and how much I miss the way I use to see the world. I forced myself to explore the reasons why, which lead me to replaying some very hurtful expiriences. I came to the realization that just like dogs, people bite, and I'm protecting myself in the same way that I did years ago when I assumed that every dog would sink his teeth into me and chew me apart. If you get bitten enough times, you protect yourself by not putting yourself in a situation where being bitten is a possibility. It's amazing that I was ever afraid of dogs considering I've never actually been hurt by one. People on the other hand, now that's a different story.

I don't want to be afraid of people. I want to take the advice my mother gave me and turn it around to fit my new situation, "People are like dogs, some are very friendly and others are not so nice. You just have to be cautious but give them a chance. Not every person bites."

I'm working on it. Each day I remind myself to persue life with the same passion I did before I'd been bitten.